How To Stay Sober When It Seems Like Your Life Sucks

Just because it “seems” like things will never change, that is not actually the case. The nature of life is change, no matter what. How you feel today — no matter how boring, stifling, angering, or depressing it may be — will be different tomorrow. Your feelings will look different in a day, a week, a month, and a year, so look to the future with optimism. You have already accomplished so much by choosing to stop using drugs and committing to sobriety.

Fears About Sobriety That Will Sabotage Your Recovery

But also, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and get involved in activities around your community. Not on its own, but maybe it starts a conversation and a friend comes over just to sit with you and make sure you’re good. Remember, it’s not that sobriety is terrible, but that your brain is trying to grapple with the sudden loss of dopamine. It’s important to have the right mindset about sobriety. But it’s comforting to know that you don’t have figure it out on your own. I realized that sobriety was not fundamentally boring.

The Downside of Sobriety

Yes, asking for help was already listed, but it is so important that it is worth repeating. You have to motivate yourself, schedule it in, and consistently do the things that will help you improve your life in recovery. Recovery Connection is the ultimate addiction recovery resource portal for information on the latest treatments, centers, and programs.

I’ve even found myself ghosting my AA sponsor.

• This is a JOYOUS and wonderful thing because it easily sorts out the ones that have a weird relationship with alcohol, or the ones that just aren’t for you.
• This isn’t to say that all of your friends will be threatened, or that all of your friendships will change.
• Dopamine depletion can cause apathy, boredom, and lack of motivation.
• And there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the occasional mind-altering experience.

Exercise is critically important in early sobriety and for ongoing mental health and wellness. It’s a great way to boost dopamine and endorphin levels naturally. What did you enjoy doing before drinking came around and took over your social life? If you must dig WAY back into childhood for this answer, then do that.

The Habits Of Emotionally Healthy People

• A lot of people don’t feel good when they first get sober, so it’s totally understandable if your feelings are all over the place.
• I recharge when I’m by myself, and I deplete when I’m with others—especially big groups.
• Choose to recognize that the choices you make directly impact your experience.
• It’s even harder if your loved ones don’t support your sobriety.

Sobriety can be an incredible way to shed relationships you’ve outgrown as well as find new ones that align with your new values. Personally, I always drug addiction treatment thought drunk people were fun, and I didn’t want my own poop relationship with alcohol to stand out. I wanted to blend in nicely with a crowd who understood that sometimes you just want to drink your face off, or one that didn’t think anything was weird about a glass of noon wine.

That being said, you might not be at a place where you want people to know you’re not drinking, and that’s OK. You can provide an excuse, like that you’re on antibiotics, or you aren’t feeling great or want to feel fresh for something you have going on the next day. It’s important to remember that you never have to give yourself up to make other people comfortable—ever. Whether you’re stating a one-sentence response (“I don’t drink”) or using a small excuse, the only thing to consider is whether you are comfortable, and whether your boundaries are being upheld.

Some people won’t work out, some activities won’t work out. But, this is about the journey and once you know what doesn’t work you’re closer to finding what does! Unless you want to be alone and feel good like that, you may want to consider a strategic plan for connecting with other people, and animals if you’re into that. I believe recovery includes opening up our hearts to other people and creatures. Our job here is to pass on what we’ve learned to others coming after us.

Find Your True Colors In 12 Steps Expanded Edition

A professional will be able to work with you and see what solutions will make you feel better. When you’re feeling down, seek out support from friends and family to help keep you sane and from slipping into old behaviors. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and let people know that you’re having a hard time. They’ll be much happier that you reached out now, before you picked up, then afterwards, when a relapse has already happened. In the early days, I felt that it was my responsibility to answer the question, “How come you aren’t drinking?

Some will certainly remain, but even those aren’t necessarily long-game friendships. Sobriety is kind of like the fast-pass line at Disneyland, except the ride is growing up. Will eating salads and drinking water make your boredom go away? Not exactly, but it can make you feel better, which has a ripple effect on whether or not you enjoy your life. Fried and overly sugary foods will also artificially spike your dopamine levels and cause your brain to overcorrect, leaving you feeling irritable, depressed, and cranky.

Being sober sucks

Choosing a new hobby to occupy your time is not always easy. It may require a bit of soul-searching, especially when your motivation is at historically low levels. And while these things might sound serious and scary, it’s important to note that it’s one piece of a larger puzzle. Recovery and sobriety are often complicated. It’s not as simple as “getting out there” and “trying something new.” It’s hard to do that when you suffer from extreme depression and anhedonia. The very things you should be doing to feel better require a level of motivation you might not be able to fathom.

It’s a subversive, hardcore choice to take your life into your own hands. It’s an opportunity to grow into your bones, and every single crap thing that happens to you on the way only makes you stronger. If people press that response, I’ll either stare at them and hold an uncomfortable silence (this is enjoyable at some point), or just change the subject. There are exceptions to this, like if someone alludes to their own struggle with alcohol, and then I might offer up a bit more of my personal experience.

That includes not becoming a victim to life’s circumstances. So now I’m sober, and I have zero choice but to be me in all situations. My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in general.

It truly is one of the best choices I’ve ever made. It’s been over six years since I first started seriously questioning my relationship with alcohol and considered a life without it. That’s six hard, beautiful, glorious years during which I not only stopped drinking, but also finally moved on from all recreational drugs as well as a history of bulimia. Unfortunately, for someone in recovery, feelings of discontent are dangerous. It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions.